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tv   The Daily Show With Jon Stewart  Comedy Central  October 4, 2012 7:30pm-8:00pm PDT

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>> from comedy central's world news headquarters in new york, this is "the daily show with jon stewart." captioning sponsored by comedy central [theme music playing] [cheering and applause] >> jon: welcome to "the daily show." my name is jon stewart. good one for you tonight. we've got kentucky senator rand paul joining us, obviously name for his father's favorite philosopher, rand mcnallly. a short time ago president obama and governor romney wrapped up their first debate. who knows if they even had the debate with yesterday's bombshell. full day, drudge-con one, blue siren alert, obama race video. hannity had the exclusive. >> tonight you will hear from barack obama like you have never heard from him before. a video has been uncovered from a campaign event in 2007 of then-candidate obama. it contains some of the most
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divisive class warfare and rarlly charged rhetoric ever use by barack obama. >> jon: casually tossing out words like honky, white trash, o-fay, spf-45 wearing mother... the video had been widely covered when the event occurred in 2007, but that doesn't matter. i'll let hannity's guest explain. >> people say, this has already been reported. well, it hasn't been, and i know because i reported on it the first time. [laughter] [applause] >> jon: so let's see some of the highlights of this, explosive video. >> cracker ass, cracker ass cracker. i wish that cracker would have said some [bleeped] to me.
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saltine ass mother [bleeped]. [laughter] >> jon: obviously that's just chris rock, one of his fine comedy skits on race relations in america. i show that in lou of the obama tapes because the obama tapes are far more explosive. in it, obama explains how hurricane katrina has a rarely component and says... >> we don't need to build more highways out in the suburbs if we have people in the cities right now who have to work but have no way to get to the jobs. we should be investing in our minority owned neighborhoods so people don't have to travel. >> jon: it's a black view first spoke in 2005. >> there's deep, persistent poverty in this region, as well. that poverty has roots in the history of racial discrimination when the streets were rebuilt. there should be many new businesses, including minority owned businesses, along those
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streets. >> jon: [as george w. bush]: you see, what i'm trying say is this: we didn't land on plymouth rock, plymouth rock, you see, won't get landed on again. he he he. so despite the fact what barack obama was saying echoed the sentimentses of other mainstream politicians and despite the fact that it echoed his own speech in 2007 that aired live on cnn, obama's real crime was not the content and the message, but the rhythm, oh, the rhythm. the rhythm is going to get you. >> you notice the way in the way he delivers the speech before a predominantly african american? >> the accent, he's speaking a different language, different cadence, different accent, different gestures. the falseness is overwhelming. >> we have the accent. we have anger. they don't care as much about you. >> jon: we have jive talk. we have no justice no peace. we've got by any means nestle
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we've got say it loud, i'm black and proud. all this and more on k-tel's "now that's what i call race-baiting." if you believe a candidate speaking black before black voters disqualifies them from being president, i have unearthed a video that just might turn this entire presidential race upside down. >> what's happening? who let the dogs out, who, who? [laughter] >> jon: who let the dogs out? did you know mitt romney was one of the original baja men? not the band. he just keeps his money in baja. here's what's crazy about this, if i'm not mistaken, sean hannity, you believe the this president to be what? >> he's the worst president we've had in my lifetime. a worse president than jimmy carter. this is the worst president america has ever had. >> jon: the worst ever in your lifetime on record ever, ever, ever, ever. and on the eve of the first
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presidential debate, the best, most explosive critique that you could deliver of the worst president we have ever had in this country is treating us to some reanimated [bleeped] video already been seen as though it were the rodney king tape in reverse. for more we're joined by our great black american panel, senior black men traitor, and wyatt cenak, larry wilmore. watching that hannity piece, it's almost unbelievable to see such naked race-baiting on television. what is that in >> it's some bull belief belief. >> yeah, hannity, your october surprise is that the president is black? >> they are some desperate mother [bleeped]. [laughter] >> jon: what about this attempt to portray a relatively middle of the road, left of
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center, technocrat as some kind of angry black radical? >> it's some bull belief belief. >> yeah, bleep bleep hannity. >> they are some desperate mother [bleeped]. january jon that is the sam thing you just said. do you not want to talk about this? >> no, jon, we love being part of your great black american black panel of blacks. black. [laughter] >> jon: would it be better to have this discussion without the white guy moderating? >> no, jon, this is your show. you should stay here and moderate this black discussion. >> jon: all right i'll be over here. fine. i'll just... i'll read. you guys can just talk amongst yourselves. it's fine. >> can he hear us? >> i don't know. let's see. jon, i've been siphoning gas from your car.
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♪ ♪ >> jon: did you call me? >> nope, nope, not at all. >> jon: i can't hear. >> okay, so how do you feel? does it make you angry many >> it's not really angry as much as it's depressing. i mean, this is the same dog-whistle stuff they've been pulling all the time, lice it's acorn and shirley sherrod and common at the white house. it's the same stuff. >> was he listening to "fiddler on the roof"? [laughter] >> seriously, i cannot believe they say [bleeped] out loud sometimes. it's just desperate. >> i can because when you have no rational argument, you have to bypass that part of the brain that processes rational arguments, right? you just go straight to the reptile brain, the amygdala, and you just dope it with enough coated language and racial imagery to trigger the fear response. >> by the way, is there a reason jon can't hear this conversation in >> no, please. >> we just want more air time. speaking of, should we
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probably... >> yeah, wake him up. >> already. >> hey, hey, what's up? ♪ net ♪ >> jon: thanks. you guys done rapping and jamming? >> yes, jon. we're done rapping and jamming. >> it's all good. >> jon: all right. hey, i think it's informative when we can discuss these things with panel of people directly affected by them. how do you think people will be seen by people who read the drudge report? >> i don't know, run it through the old drudgey cam. >> jon: right, the lens we filter all their information through. can you cue that up. >> we're in your front yard and we're still mad about slavery. >> yeah, we're going to buy crack with the food stamps you're paying for. >> and then we're going the rape your white babies. >> hey, whoa, whoa. >> whoa, that's too much. >> settle down. >> sorry. this is my first black panel, guys. i'm really exied. really nice to be here. >> jon: thank you, guys.
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>> jon: welcome back. as you know, tonight's presidential debate wasn't the only high-profile verbal dust-up scheduled the take place this week. that's right. i'm talking about the rumble in the air conditioned auditorium.
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did that reverb at all? two men enter, two men leave. laughter one slightly before the other one. it's all going down in d.c. this saturday night. stream it with your friends, or better yet, separately. [laughter] obviously with three days to go, i'm going the meade some debate prep facing off against o'reilly, but who could possibly stand in for man like the papa bear, a right-wing traditionalist who isn't afraid to peek his mind, an american who loves his country more than he loves himself, and he really loves himself quite a bit? who could fill those shoes? it's no one, no one. ♪ ♪ [cheering and applause]
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[audience chanting "stephen"] jon jon you working out? wow. i am shocked. wow. >> stephen: excuse me. >> jon: i can't hear you. >> stephen: i can't hear a word. may i be of some assistance, jon? >> jon: i'd love to have you be here. let's do this. >> stephen: gunter, bjorn, stand down. all right, jon, get yourself a podium. let's do this thing. >> jon: oh, you want me to get a podium? okay. i guess i'll get one then. okay. just son of a... >> stephen: don't help him. don't help him. >> jon: oh, son of a... >> stephen: all right. >> jon: oh, my god.
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>> stephen: jon, you have already made your first mistake. you allowed me to make a bigger entrance than you. >> jon: all right. so let's do this. you got the play o'reilly in this. >> stephen: i'll try. [laughter] >> jon: you got to embody a larger-than-life conservative pundit. >> stephen: i love new challenge, jon. let's do this thing. will lying this candle. >> jon: let's start with a topic. american exceptionalism. >> stephen: perfect, jon. that's actually first chapter of my new book "america again: rebecome the greatness we never weren't" released yesterday and available in audio book, e-book and book book. "america is exceptional. does that statement shock you? it shocked me to have to say it. to be forced by your doubt to say out loud that america is exceptional implies something
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ugly. it's like telling the host of a dinner party, i'm certain your wife is a female." [laughter] "saying it out loud feels wrong, no matter how large her hands are. >> jon: wow. wow. that was beat opening. that was fantastic. >> stephen: you just lost, jon. never compliment your opponent. remember the debate a, b, cs -- always be attacking. [laughter] >> jon: i think you're misspelling attacking. >> stephen: are you saying the word "attacking" doesn't have the letter c in it? >> jon: of course it has a "c" in it. >> stephen: you just lost again. never admit your opponent is right, even or especially if it is. that's a sign of weakness. they will go for the throat. >> jon: i heard what you said, stephen, i'm not sure i agree with your larger point. >> stephen: can i interrupt
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you again? >> jon: yes. >> stephen: never ever let someone interrupt you. >> jon: i'm bad at this. >> stephen: no [bleeped], shylock. >> jon: you mean sherlock? >> stephen: sure. you're in worse shape than i thought. gunther, fetch me clucker carlson. thank you. [cheering and applause] >> jon: all right. >> stephen: it's jon. he's man-eater, jon. be careful. from now until saturday, jon, you must do exactly what i tell you. no questions. >> jon: all right. >> stephen: i'm going to release this chicken, gorgeous american-bred hen into your studio and you must catch it. >> jon: oh, okay. "rockiment" and then once i
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catch the chicken, i am ready to debate. >> stephen: no. no, no, jon. first you catch the chicken. >> jon: all right. >> stephen: then you must use the chicken... >> jon: yes? >> wax a car. wax on. wax off. >> jon: okay. >> stephen: there's a gray audi s-5 parked outside the studio right now. >> jon: i see, a gray audi s-5. so after i use the chicken to wash your car, am id aredy? >> stephen: no, jon. not even close, because to defeat bill o'reilly, you must first catch the bird, wax my car, then to absorb its soul, you must then make this bird into a chick-fil-a sandwich. >> >> jon: oh, for god's sake. >> stephen: yes. >> jon: no, that is completely
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absurd. >> stephen: do you want to win? >> jon: i do want the win. >> stephen: then let the training begin. >> jon: all right. [cheering and applause] all right. that was actually somewhat easier than i had anticipated. >> stephen: the student has become the master. let's go wax that car! >> jon: let's do it. stephen colbert, everybody. >> stephen: gunther, let's >> jon: welcome back my guest
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tonight, please welcome back to the program senator rand paul. sir. [applause] nice to see you. i'm just glad you weren't brought out here by shirtless men. >> we saw that. we can't know that was available. >> jon: we have many different methods of bringing people out. >> if i had come out that way, i think it might have come back in a tv commercial. >> jon: it may. that's the way politics work. obviously the big debate was tonight. we taped earlier. i imagine you're rushing out of here to see the debate. >> i can look into the future
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and i can tell you who won the debate. and i'm very objective. >> jon: really? tell me who? >> romney won. it was an overwhelming juggernaut. >> jon: did he unhinge his jaw and swallow romney whole? >> some of the details are fuzzy. >> jon: fair enough. the book is called "government bullies" you have a forward by a congressman named ron paul. how did that come about? >> it was tough to get. you know, bending arms at thanksgiving, working on him and we finally got him. >> jon: for you, what is the message here? the message is government has been pushing people around, that needs to stop? >> kind of. the message is that there are unintended consequences of well-meaning people. the clean waterage of 1974 says you can't discharge pollutants into the navigable waters of the u.s. i'm all for that. you shouldn't be allowed to dump chemicals in the ho river. there should be a law against
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that. it should stop. however, over time, we came to define dirt as a pollutant and we came to define navigable waters as your back yard. we tell the story of robbie wrigley, who was given 84 months in prison, had in prior criminal history, 84 months, no parole, her dad got ten years and her dad's partner got ten years. their crime is putting clean dirt on dry land in a residential development that the government says it's a wetland, and that's insane. >> that was the case. that wasn't an e.p.a. wasn't that a jury? >> it's e.p.a. rules. it's e.p.a. rules and courts that come up with it. you're right, it went through a jury. sometimes jurors have made mistakes. we have had juries put people on death row and it was a mistake. >> jon: i'm not so familiar with the case, but wasn't the complaint he was flooding other people's backyards and wouldn't like... there was a... he wouldn't stop and he actually was causing damage? >> it's sort of interesting. he's convicted under something called the rico statute,
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anti-racketeering things. >> jon: he was running a dirt syndicate. >> exactly. that's another thing that's out of control. for example, the rico statute says you own a pizza hut and a 15-year-old kid is selling marijuana out of it, they take your house. an urban kid in the middle of the city with his grandmother, they take his grandmother's house. >> jon: these types of stories, and there is no doubt there are unintended consequences of government regulation, but couldn't you just as easily put together a book called "government heroes," and... >> people would buy that? >> jon: it's not as good a story, but anecdotal evidence of people whose lives have been improved or an anecdote about the collateral damage caused by private business. >> you're talking about writing a book of fiction. >> jon: don't you imagine... >> the thing is rules have gone too far. the economy is suffering under
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regulations, a trillion dollars worth of regulations is hampering economic growth. we're growing at 1%. economists say that a million people are out of work because of regulations in our country. we've gone too far. >> jon: we've gone too far sounds like an argument. i would agree that regulations need to be looked at in a more common sense way, but the argument is always framed as freedom versus tyranny which is we need to manage this better. >> how about raw milk? should we put people in jail for selling raw milk? >> jon: you're talking to a jewish guy who is allergic to... i can't even handle homogenized milk. >> you know when you're debating o'reilly what's going to be in your glass. >> jon: stick around. "government
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helps him deposit his checks. jay also like it when mother nature helps him wash his car. mother nature's cool like that. mobile check deposit. easier banking. standard at citibank. >> jon: that's our show. join us tomorrow night at 11:00. bill o'reilly will be in the studio. here it is, your moment of zen. >> we just watched president obama three and a half years. i don't think he's governing this way at all. i think that's why... i think that was going to becaptioning y comedy central captioned by media access group at wgbh
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